You know you are a machine head when:
 

You know you are a machine head when:

1-You trace the lines on the carpet with your number three pressure point.
2-You canceled your golf magazines subscriptions.
3-You enter used book stores looking for old editions of the yellow book.
4-Homer means Kelly, not Simpson.
5-Yoda- That's the Golfing Machine guy, right?
6-Mopping floors is fun and a golf lesson, too.
7-You remind your daughter to drive load her pp3 while she is doing penmanship homework.
8-During a Little League game, you yell to your son to use a forearm trace and cross line drive load into anything over the plate. And he understands.
9- You wake up in the middle of the night hearing Lynn yell, "Rhythm is Roll." :shock:
10-You convinced yourself that your Aunt looks like Diane
11-Everything in your house is set on the elbow plane.
12-You want to paint your car Yellow and Green. #-o
13-You think of all the neat physic projects you gone have done in High School.
14- You now dance like 9-1-2 through 9-1-12.
15-Your constant Bent Right Wrist gets you a smile from the delivery guy.
16- You do the sign of the cross with the Three Imperatives as a pre-shot routine and so does your Pastor. [-o<
18- You regularly dust the empty space you left in the bookcase for the 7th edition.
17- and the number one way you know you are a Golfing Machine addict:

You Capitalize, per 1-H, Key words in the Middle of EVERY Sentence you Write. :p

Happy Holidays 'chiners. Hope ya can add to this list.

6b

FOTFL!

- your wife asks you at least once a day why you are holding a golf club, dowel, raquet, flashlight, or whatever else is handy while looking at yourself in the mirror.

- you can't pass a mirror without grabbing a golf-club-like object and look, look, looking

- flying wedges don't refer to the football formation

I Got It Bad...And That Ain't Good
 

-- You see nothing abnormal about having a mop outside your patio door and a tire, an impact bag, a sand iron and a weighted club at your garage door.

-- You can't pass the mop aisle at Kroger without testing the new models.

-- You have totally lost the ability to discriminate between people 'listening' and people 'staring'.

-- You wonder what Homer meant by the word 'is'.

-- You have your LBG member name embroidered on your golf bag.

Great Posts
 

I recognize many but love

You have totally lost the ability to discriminate between people 'listening' and people 'staring'.


I don't give "golf advice" but when pressured, will respond with advice from the "yellow book". I think I can even italizize my voice now.

How about:

-You give all your golfing buddies a copy of TGM for Christmas, no matter how many you have given in past Christmas's. (Really, one friend has 3 copies, all from me on X-mas).....You can't get through to some folks.

"Headed" in the right direction
 

You guys are killing me. I can't stop laughing. And I (or a least my wife) thought I was crazy; you guys make me feel normal!

A toast to the rise of "The Machine Heads":D .

you have dowel rods in every room of the house, including the bathroom....:D

Hmmm . . . rods bathroom . . . the hell with it. Too easy.

You think nothing of walking with a bent right wrist all the day long...in fact, try as hard as you might to straighten it, you can't, for it has been frozen bent!

You steer your car with a flat left/bent right wrist

The Home Depot Manager orders more dowels because the stock is slightly warped

You have a putter, club, and dowels in your office and routinely practice your alignments in the hallway.

The yellow book is laying on top of your Bible on the nightstand.

You stand outside at 1AM in freezing rain testing the latest epiphany learned from the forum.

You trace plane lines on the tiles of the shower.

Random objects become impact bags.

Hinges are found on your left arm and not the doors.

You spend as much time chipping/pitching on the range as you do on full stroke.

You spend more time practicing with things found in a hardware store than you do with things found in a golf store.

Leadbeater/Flick/Harmon/Haney elicit as much good will as Bin Laden/Hitler/Attila the Hun

Down & out is a good thing

LOL :p I love that one.

Here's some:

• While cleaning the pool with the leaf scoop you concentrate on keeping your flying wedges intact and the sensation of your #3pp as you drag it through the water.
  
• Whilst playing tennis, you keep your racquet inline with your forearm and with a frozen bent wrist you strike the tennis ball on the inside-top quadrant without quitting.
  
• You also apply TGM to your cricket strokes.
  
• Your girlfriend doesn't even react anymore when she see's you tracing tiles, fanning or doing any other Yoda prescribed drill.
  

My wife still allows the dowels next to my seat at the kitchen table.

The dowels are the only things in the house that never need dusting, because they get so much use.

your break your right wrist, and insist the doctor makes your cast 'bent back - not cocked'...

you've ordered your impact bag, and it seems lost in the mail...you start looking at the cat funny.

Thanks to a late fall in VA, you once again notice that a leaf blower and a pile of leaves are a great way to learn 'lag pressure' by creating a 'wall of force' to move the leaves off the yard. You've got to 'sustain the lag' ;)

Done it! Many times!

Trace a Straight Plane Line with the shampoo bottle....!

;)

Guilty as charged!
 

:D :D :D :D

When you carry your hinge mockup in your golf bag just in case one of your "non-TGMer" buddies needs a quick lesson on proper hinging.

--Even if you are walking with your wife/girlfriend you continue to check-out attractive women that walk near you because the mantra " look, Look,LOOK " keeps playing in your brain

--While sitting at the dinner table at a huge family gathering you start practicing right forearm pickup with extensor action......and suddenly realize you have covered your mother-in-law with the mashed potatoes

Edz! Come on man! Rake those leaves! Get your right forearm on plane with that rake and drag it!

You know you are a machine head when being in the fairway is no longer an issue.

Planning Ahead
 

Or when you ask on a 487-yard par 4...

"Where's the flag?"

You pray that the elevator is empty so you can check your impact alignments in the mirror

You wave at people with a RFP

You shut doors with a bent right wrist and the thrust of PP3 against the door knob

Educated Hands
 

All of your friends give you the "Secret Hand Shake", because they know you will give it to them don't give it to you.

When you're thinking maximum lag pressure on your snow shovel.