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“I like you, Betty.”
“You're a little monkey woman.
You're lean and you're mean and you're not
too far between either...”
“Big hitter, the Lama. Long!”
“So I've got that going for me...
which is nice.”
“How do you measure yourself
with other golfers? By height.”
“Don't sell yourself short, Judge.
You're a tremendous slouch.”
“It looks good on you, though.”
“You must have been something
before electricity.”
“You want to tie me up
with some of your ties...Ty?”
“…He was night-putting.
Just putting at night...”
“Your uncle molests collies.”
“Will you come and loofah
my stretch marks?”
“…He's a Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess,
as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 200 yards left, and...looks like he's got an eight iron.This crowd has gone deadly silent. Cinderella story. Out of nowhere. A former greenskeeper now about
to become the Master's champion.
It's in the hole!”
“I don't think the heavy stuff
will come down for a while.”
“How about a Fresca?”
“I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
Guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.”
“I don't play golf for money...
against people.”
“People don't say that about you,as far as you know.”
“This is a hybrid.
This is a cross of bluegrass...
...Kentucky bluegrass, featherbed bench...
...and northern California sinsemilla.
The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 18 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned at night on this stuff.”
“Do you have a pool?
A pool and a pond.
A pond would be good for you.”
“Keep it fair, keep it fair.”
“Don't worry. It's good luck…In Haiti!”
“See your future. Be...be your future.”
“Hey, everybody!
We're all going to get laid!”
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