You know you are a machine head when:

[6bmike]

You know you are a machine head when:

1-You trace the lines on the carpet with your number three pressure point.
2-You canceled your golf magazines subscriptions.
3-You enter used book stores looking for old editions of the yellow book.
4-Homer means Kelly, not Simpson.
5-Yoda- That's the Golfing Machine guy, right?
6-Mopping floors is fun and a golf lesson, too.
7-You remind your daughter to drive load her pp3 while she is doing penmanship homework.
8-During a Little League game, you yell to your son to use a forearm trace and cross line drive load into anything over the plate. And he understands.
9- You wake up in the middle of the night hearing Lynn yell, "Rhythm is Roll."
10-You convinced yourself that your Aunt looks like Diane
11-Everything in your house is set on the elbow plane.
12-You want to paint your car Yellow and Green.
13-You think of all the neat physic projects you gone have done in High School.
14- You now dance like 9-1-2 through 9-1-12.
15-Your constant Bent Right Wrist gets you a smile from the delivery guy.
16- You do the sign of the cross with the Three Imperatives as a pre-shot routine and so does your Pastor.
18- You regularly dust the empty space you left in the bookcase for the 7th edition.
17- and the number one way you know you are a Golfing Machine addict:

You Capitalize, per 1-H, Key words in the Middle of EVERY Sentence you Write.

Happy Holidays 'chiners. Hope ya can add to this list.

6b

[bambam]

FOTFL!

- your wife asks you at least once a day why you are holding a golf club, dowel, raquet, flashlight, or whatever else is handy while looking at yourself in the mirror.

- you can't pass a mirror without grabbing a golf-club-like object and look, look, looking

- flying wedges don't refer to the football formation

[Yoda]

You know you are a machine head when:

-- You see nothing abnormal about having a mop outside your patio door and a tire, an impact bag, a sand iron and a weighted club at your garage door.

-- You can't pass the mop aisle at Kroger without testing the new models.

-- You have totally lost the ability to discriminate between people 'listening' and people 'staring'.

-- You wonder what Homer meant by the word 'is'.

-- You have your LBG member name embroidered on your golf bag.

[kmmcnabb]

I recognize many but love

You have totally lost the ability to discriminate between people 'listening' and people 'staring'.


I don't give "golf advice" but when pressured, will respond with advice from the "yellow book". I think I can even italizize my voice now.

How about:

-You give all your golfing buddies a copy of TGM for Christmas, no matter how many you have given in past Christmas's. (Really, one friend has 3 copies, all from me on X-mas).....You can't get through to some folks.

[drewitgolf]

You guys are killing me. I can't stop laughing. And I (or a least my wife) thought I was crazy; you guys make me feel normal!

A toast to the rise of "The Machine Heads" .

[Martee]

you have dowel rods in every room of the house, including the bathroom....

[12 piece bucket]

you have dowel rods in every room of the house, including the bathroom....

Hmmm . . . rods bathroom . . . the hell with it. Too easy.

[comdpa]

You think nothing of walking with a bent right wrist all the day long...in fact, try as hard as you might to straighten it, you can't, for it has been frozen bent!

[Bagger Lance]

You steer your car with a flat left/bent right wrist

The Home Depot Manager orders more dowels because the stock is slightly warped

You have a putter, club, and dowels in your office and routinely practice your alignments in the hallway.

The yellow book is laying on top of your Bible on the nightstand.

You stand outside at 1AM in freezing rain testing the latest epiphany learned from the forum.

You trace plane lines on the tiles of the shower.

[rchang72]

Random objects become impact bags.

Hinges are found on your left arm and not the doors.

You spend as much time chipping/pitching on the range as you do on full stroke.

You spend more time practicing with things found in a hardware store than you do with things found in a golf store.

Leadbeater/Flick/Harmon/Haney elicit as much good will as Bin Laden/Hitler/Attila the Hun

Down & out is a good thing